Mattel’s Magic 8 Ball has been predicting the future since 1946. We ran a few questions about the Carolina Panthers by one, and the results were fairly bleak.
For those unfamiliar with the concept, users ask yes-no questions to the ball, give it a shake and then turn it over to reveal the answer. We opted for an online version to ask the following:
Will Bryce Young improve in 2024?
Magic 8 Ball says: Very doubtful.
The dreaded B-word might float around Young if this prediction comes true. No one wants to be labeled a bust, but if Young doesn’t show a drastic improvement this season, that’s probably what most will call him. Last season, he ranked near the bottom of the league in several metrics.
Among qualifying quarterbacks, he ranked 31st in completion percentage (59.8), had the fourth-highest sack rate (10.5 percent) and was last in passer rating (73.7). Per ESPN, he only ranked ahead of former Jets quarterback Zach Wilson in its QBR metric. With another disappointing season, Young might be on the hot seat in Carolina.
Does Dave Canales last the entire season?
Magic 8 Ball says: Don’t count on it.
The Panthers first-year head coach might not have as long of a leash, particularly considering owner David Tepper’s track record with coaches. He’s fired his previous two, Matt Rhule and Frank Reich, midseason, and if Young struggles, what’s stopping the temperamental Tepper from tossing another coach to the curb?
Will the Panthers win more than two games?
Magic 8 Ball says: You may rely on it.
This is a low bar to cross, but at least Carolina is expected to rise above it. Working in its favor is the league’s projected second-easiest schedule per ESPN’s Mike Clay. The Panthers have a win probability greater than 50 percent in four games in Clay’s 2024 NFL Projections Guide, including back-to-back road games against the Commanders and Broncos in Weeks 7-8 as well as home games against the Giants (Week 10) and Cardinals (Week 16).
Will Tepper pour more than 0.5 drinks on a fan this season?
Magic 8 Ball says: Better not tell you now.
Being a little cryptic, aren’t we? Tepper infamously poured out his drink on Jaguars fans following Carolina’s 26-0 loss on New Year’s Eve last year, resulting in a $300,000 league fine for the hedge fund manager (Forbes estimates his worth $20.6 billion).
With that slap on the wrist, no wonder the Magic 8 Ball can’t predict if Tepper will do it again. And with Carolina likely to be one of the league’s worst teams once more, he’ll have several opportunities to live down to his reputation.
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